While watching television, the Simpson family sees a commercial for the "Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con", a science-fiction convention featuring Mark Hamill and others, and decide to attend. A riot breaks out at the convention after Hamill offers the chance for someone in the crowd to act out a scene with him. Homer notices that Mark Hamill and Mayor Quimby are in danger of being trampled due to the riot and quickly rescues them. In gratitude, Quimby employs Homer as his bodyguard.
Homer begins training at "Leavelle's Bodyguard Academy," where he quickly graduates and begins his new job. Unbeknownst to Homer, Quimby made a deal with Fat Tony shortly after Homer was employed to provide milk to the schools of Springfield. Homer discovers the milk is from rats and confronts Quimby, accidentally knocking him out a window. Discovering Quimby hanging from a ledge, Homer makes him promise to expose Fat Tony in return for being pulled to safety.
Quimby organizes the arrests of Fat Tony and his men, but Fat Tony threatens Quimby's life. Scared at having to defend Quimby due to the death threats, Homer attempts to reassure the Mayor by taking him to a dinner theater to see Mark Hamill portray Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls. Homer discovers Fat Tony is there alongside his henchman, Louie, having been released on bail, and unwittingly made the situation worse when he did what Fat Tony told him to do by planting a kiss on Mayor Quimby, oblivious to the fact that he had given the Mayor the kiss of death. Louie attempts to stab Quimby but is stopped in a scuffle with Homer after Hamill advises Homer to "use the forks." However Fat Tony is still able to savagely beat Quimby with a baseball bat. Hamill says to Homer that Quimby will be fine, and Homer helps Hamill escape from the paparazzi.