11 Faith Off

Homer receives a letter from Springfield University inviting him to an upcoming reunion party. Revisiting his old dorm room with Marge, he is reunited with his former roommates, Benjamin, Doug, and Gary, who have since gone on to graduate themselves, and imply they are now working classified technology jobs. At the reunion, the dean, who is a different person than the dean from Homer Goes To College, reveals that the party is actually a fundraiser for the football team, and collects donation in a large sack similar to a robbery. When Homer refuses to give anything, he has two burly professors forcibly take Homer's money. Angered, Homer recruits his nerdy comrades to take revenge on the dean. He tries to put a bucket filled with glue on the Dean's head, but finds that another frat, Cappa Gamma Tau, have already done so; it falls on Homer's head, and he cannot get it off. He tries to drive with holes cut in the bucket over his eyes, but he drives the family off course — to a religious revival, hosted by a faith healer named Brother Faith, where Bart pulls the bucket off Homer's head. Brother Faith considers this act a sign that Bart has "the power" of healing, and has a brief discussion with Bart backstage, where he explains that he was once a prankster like Bart, until he became born-again. Lisa is skeptical and attempts to use reason to explain that the hot stage lights heated the metal bucket, causing the glue to liquefy and thus loosen, while at the same time expanding the bucket and allowing Bart to pull it off. Undaunted, Bart becomes a faith healer, pulls miracles of his own, and even forms his own church which massively outdraws Reverend Lovejoy's congregation on its first day of operation. There, Bart heals Springfield's residents (when in fact, his demonstrations for the day consist of punching Grandpa in his paining artificial hip, Professor Frink where he had been suffering a cramp in his back, and slapping Patty's cigarette out of her mouth).

The church is cut short, however, when Milhouse is run down, though not fatally, after he mistakes an oncoming truck for a dog; Bart had "healed" him of his myopia during his revival meeting by knocking his glasses off his face. Subsequently, Bart decides to end his career as a faith healer. Meanwhile, Homer prepares for Springfield University's homecoming football game by building a float that he has fashioned out of flowers he has stolen from Ned Flanders. At the game, everyone cheers for S.U.'s football team's star player, a kicker named Anton Lubchenko. Homer gets drunk and forgets he has made a float to celebrate SU. He crowd surfs down to the playing field, and runs to his float. Unfortunately, the other floats have left the field and the players have come back on. Homer drives his float over the leg of Lubchenko, horribly wounding him. Fat Tony, who had bet a substantial amount of money on Lubchenko's performance, threatens to kill Homer with an ice pick if Lubchenko does not return to the game. Homer convinces Bart to try to heal the kicker. Bart prays to God to help him heal the kicker. With his team down by two points, Lubchenko returns to the game and kicks the field goal. The shot seemingly falls short of the goal, disappointing the crowd and Homer, only for Lubchenko's leg, which had detached from his knee, come flying through the air, hitting the ball a second time and getting it across the goal just in time to score the point and win. The crowd celebrates with the leg as Lubchenko is led off in an ambulance. Bart announces at the end of the game that he now knows that he does not have special powers and so is not a healer and will not be able to help Lubchenko again. Dr. Hibbert tells Bart he is happy with this: "More money for me."

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