12 Homer the Great

Homer notices that his colleagues Lenny and Carl are enjoying inexplicable privileges such as free soft drinks, massage chairs, and great parking spots at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. He discovers they are part of an ancient secret society known as the Stonecutters. To join, one must either be the son of a Stonecutter or save the life of a Stonecutter. Homer complains about not being let in and reveals to Marge his past experience being excluded from clubs: when he was young, a group of children formed the "No Homers Club" and did not allow him to join, while letting in another boy named Homer Glumplet, claiming that the name allowed for one Homer. While extolling the Stonecutters at the dinner table, he discovers that his father is a member and is admitted.

After the painful and humiliating initiations required to join the Stonecutters, which is made up of many of the male characters on the show, Homer takes great pleasure in the society's secret privileges, such as an underground byway bypassing Springfield's traffic jams, drinking bouts and free rollerblades (in order to get from the parking lot to his workplace faster). During a celebratory rib dinner with his fellow Stonecutters commemorating the society's 1500th anniversary, he unwittingly uses the society’s Hallowed Sacred Parchment as a napkin, tissue and cotton swab, destroying it. He is stripped of his Stonecutter robes and is sentenced to walk home naked dragging the "Stone of Shame." Before he leaves, however, it is discovered that Homer has a birthmark in the shape of the Stonecutter emblem, identifying him as the Chosen One who, it was foretold, would lead the Stonecutters to greatness. The "Stone of Shame" is instantly removed and replaced with the (much larger and heavier) "Stone of Triumph."

Homer is crowned the new leader of the Stonecutters. Initially enjoying himself, Homer soon feels isolated by his power when the other members treat him differently due to his new position, and asks Lisa for advice. She suggests that he ask the Stonecutters to do volunteer work to help the community, which Homer agrees to, and has the Stonecutters use their resources to help with daycare and community upkeep. This angers the Stonecutters, who misinterpret Homer's good intentions as going mad with power. They convene their World Council and consider killing Homer before he supposedly kills anyone for disobeying his commands. Instead, Moe suggests they form a new society, the Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers (once again including a now adult Homer Glumplet).

Homer becomes despondent about losing his secret club and replaces every member with monkeys which he gets drunk and makes act out Civil War battles. Marge consoles him by telling him he is a member of a "very exclusive club", the Simpson family, which she and Homer wear special rings to show loyalty. The family subjects him to some hazing and paddling.

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