At a bachelor auction to raise money for the Springfield fire department, the available bachelors on display, Barney Gumble, The Sea Captain, Kirk Van Houten, Comic Book Guy, Hans Moleman, Disco Stu, Otto and Moe Syzlak are deemed undesirable, and the auction makes no money at all. Marge then nominates Apu, who is deemed a success by the women at the auction, who are impressed with his education and work ethic, and is sold for $926. He goes out on dates with many of the town's women, and begins to enjoy his bachelor lifestyle. One day, he receives a letter from his mother in India, reminding him of his arranged marriage to Manjula, the daughter of a family friend. Not wanting to get married, Apu asks Homer for advice. Homer suggests Apu tell his mother that he is already married. Days later, Apu thinks that he has escaped the marriage until he sees his mother walking towards the Kwik-E-Mart. To cover him, Homer tells Apu to pretend that Marge is his wife.
At the Simpson residence, Marge disapproves of the plan, but decides to do it for Apu's sake. Apu's mother is displeased with his choice of bride, and shocked to learn that she has grandchildren. While the plan is under way Homer decides to stay in the Springfield Retirement Castle with his father, posing as resident Cornelius Talmidge. Homer enjoys his stay at the home immensely, as he considers the lack of any required physical movement or activity a luxury, until the real Cornelius returns, at which point he flees. He returns home and gets into bed with Marge. Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilon enters to say goodbye, but is shocked to see Marge in bed with another man, and Apu on the floor. Tired of the whole charade, Marge forces Apu to tell his mother the truth, who declares that the arranged marriage will proceed as planned.
The wedding is held in the Simpsons' back yard, but Apu still has second thoughts about it. However, when he sees Manjula for the first time in years, he realizes how beautiful she really is and feels a little less reluctant. Apu asks about her favorite food, book and movie; she quips that the answer to all three questions is Fried Green Tomatoes. The pair decide that perhaps the marriage can work after all, and they can get a divorce if it does not. Homer, poorly disguised as Ganesha, tries to stop the wedding, but he is quickly subdued by a wedding guest, and Apu and Manjula marry anyway. The episode ends with guests dancing while Homer is attacked by the elephant for stealing his peanuts.